Optimism Save A Lot

Today is my second driving lesson. To be sheer frank, i am not afraid of driving. I am always not in a bundle of nerves when driving, its like a piece of cake for me. I do not know when i start to adapt such positive thinking which has come very naturally recently. But its a good thing.

So the instructor was kind of annoying and the level of egoism is way too high. He keeps telling me to forget what ever bullshit the other instructor in IMKEDA has once told me and just adhere to his so called "driving formula" meekly or else i'll be doomed. Lest to be rebuked, reprimanded, nagged and irritated, i make myself remember every single thing he said, smile every time he scolds or just roll my eyes with my head turned to the other side if i really could not stand him.

Hmm..i do feel disappointed with myself sometimes. My brain seems to be dead and my IQ is like zero as i could not utter out the correct answer every time he asks a question which only requires simple logical thinking. And, he got annoyed. Urgh... i must not self-criticized anymore. I am good at driving. I am good at driving. I am good at driving. I am good at driving.

Anyhow, results are coming out soon. And i still have not make up my mind on what course to be taken. The time is running out. I need to be decisive. Once the deadliest results are out, i need to apply for all sorts of scholarship in order to stand a higher chance. Duh..all this crap..

CNY is coming to an end soon. Devoid of achievement in this two long months, all due to the comfort zone, draining of determination, competition, pressure in disguise that actually make you a better person every single time, often exerted by teachers and friends indirectly through their actions and speeches. I think i wrote lousily, think less critically and analytically, gaining more kilograms due to my own craving especially after meals, start to lose friends due to devoid of initiative to keep in touch with them. I don't have friends i feel sometimes.

Things i have yet to achieve :-
a. learn french
b. learn spanish
c. learn driving
d. decide on the course i want to take
e. decide on which college to go
f. keep in touch with friends
g. adapt to positive thinking
h. being confident (i just hate to lie to myself something that realistically i am not very good at)
i. read 12 novels
j. scholarship interview

Hmm...i dont think all of these are the hardest things in my life because there are lots more i've yet to venture and experience.