Realization

Tuesday, 11.27pm, 11.3.2014, Week 4, Sem 6

Realization first knocked on my door when I was rebuked by Mr Nash on my naivety during CZ proposal presentation. I was too idealistic, over-optimistic and oblivion on limiting factors. The vicious cycle had been repeating ever since then before I came to realize it today.

Say what? Before graduate, you wish to be well-equipped with photoshop skill, played deft keyboard and guitar and able to read Chinese characters? That's HONESTLY IMPOSSIBLE.

The value of proactive has side-trackedly seeped wrongly in me. I thought as long as I keep saying "I can do it" and not procrastinate, I could achieve my wants. But I deeply realize that I have been too self-centered, too much of "wo", oblivion on the fact that I am living in the universe, sharing with millions and billions of human. Things don't always go like what we always envision, not because we are not optimistic and procrastinate too much, but that's how nature works.

Your focus should be on your academic, your future pathway, and not on your interest per se.

Perhaps from square one, I have mistakenly categorize keyboard, guitar, photoshop, chinese, environmental economics in the wrong quadrant - QII? QII should be something important though not urgent. It may bring effect to your future. Well, obviously keyboard and guitar are not the one because both are merely my interest and entertainment sake.

Juggling academic (20 credit hours), FYP, SPAS Club and FESENI have taken a toll of me. In addition to those, the focus on my interest might be burdening and redundant. Interest should only meant for leisure time (in my opinion). It seems to me right now that I am prioritize interest more than academic. Bear in mind that academic is still my golden ticket to everything.

Guess I really need to let off something, accept that human is full of flaws and limitations, comprehend one's strengths and weaknesses, reduce multi-tasking so as to not lose focus, and learn to specialize.

No matter how a person carries a whole bag full of apples and oranges, at the end, he will not able to grapple it because he only has two hands.