PRIOR TO THE BEGINNING
Reflecting back, brought Chuck's image to my mind. He was always somebody I looked up to, in fact he was the first person suggested me to joined PM in order to know more about the hassle yet necessary procedures in the administration of our own college. I was reluctant, seriously, very reluctant. It did not came across my mind before to be enthusiastic to meet a whole throng of freshmen, neither did I feel the urge to guide them. Frankly, I felt strongly that it was a waste of time and useless to sacrifice my own time for them. I could earn RM7 at most for every hour I spent during my holiday. What I felt was that I did not wish to be labour for this corrupted administration. I even rejected once, as I could not bring myself to lose more precious time with my family despite a few earnest advice by Chuck.
Nevertheless, what became the turning point was Chuck's words - " Ikut hati, jalan mati ". As much as I condemned that statement (not to mention my SPAS seniors), I took the precaution step and told myself to keep faith on an advice given by a caliber senior.
Lesson #1 : Sometimes in life, you need to identify clearly your priorities. Talk to yourself whenever there is discrepancy between what you want and what you should actually do. Consider thoroughly on the reason whenever someone mentioned on the benefits of doing what you should do and not what you want to do. The key word is : CONSIDER THOROUGHLY.
Lesson #2 : Accept all the happenings with open heart, not hatred but with gratitude. Why did this happening to you? Sometimes, we should not question ourselves that, because most of the time when you started it, soon it would turned into an incessant complains.
FIRST PHASE
Gamelan. When this word left Encik Nizam's thick lips, I was like whatthehell was that. Gamelan, a type of traditional Malay dance which required the dancer to be their most elegant, soft and refined self, was our task during the performance. This dance really bored me a a lot for the movements were very slow and up to beat. Anyhow, do or die. We made it and our group got number one!
I could still recall vividly and nostalgically the feeling that imbued me when I first saw all 18 unfamiliar faces. Mainly I felt worried that I would not be able to get under their skin, under the shawl, or under their long sleeves attire. I felt like a toddler standing on her own toes, with their sole up in the air, trying a few times hitching just to see what was over the brick wall. Prejudice seeped in while the ice was still impeccable without cracks.
Thanks to the camp in Malacca, we started to know each other more. Right after the camp, we were asked to vote for the board committee members. Rumour of politic and some underground dirty hand started creeping out but I was still ignorant and trying to remain positive with such scenario. I was not interested at all whether I would be selected or not, but what I cared most was that Chinese must be part of the committee especially at higher position.
And so, we had Carmen as treasurer and Mae Vin as vice president.
Lesson #3 : It was always the hard to begin but once you begin, you should not stop and you would not like to stop.
SECOND PHASE
I missed most of it for I was with NVG. When I came back, I had roughly a week and more before our one week holiday. I remembered during the second phase, we, BSS members confronted Rahman for our bureau internal's problem. Besides, I was also appointed as the director for our mini projects.
One of the heart-throbbing experience was during the last day in college. I thought of collecting the letter which I expected it to be signed by Master. However, ny ketter was rejected again and that was during 430pm, another half an hour to closing. I ran hastily to look for a printer to redo thee whole thing, Fortunately, I made it.
THIRD PHASE
When we gathered back, my mini project was to be carried out asap. During the whole process of writing the proposal and letter, I forgot to do reflection with myself. But as I recalled back, I learned a lot technically. However, there was a dismay - poor decision making and not quick enough. Constantly and easily being influenced by others saying was also another. And the root of these problems were because I did not establish a firm mindset first on how I want things to be.
Lesson #4 : Before kick starting anything, remember to set a few objectives and goals. Refers it from time to time, and reflects on it you are lost.
Lesson #5 : *(What I learned from Rahman's weakness) Always set goals for your members to attend, timeline on things to be achieved and be alert on what others wanted from us.
FOURTH PHASE
Fourth phase was the most crucial phase when we were rushing to finish the undone and did the final touch up. Special events that happened during the phase was HEP camp. Devastated and frustrated as well. From here, I spotted my weakness. I missed out something important as a leader : to foresee future. I forgot the fact and importance of Encik Norman's words which was about creating new cheers. I naively thought that our cheers were spirited enough and superb that there was not a need at all for any new cheers to burden our PMs to learn it. In the end, we came out only with two new cheers.
Besides, I realized myself for not huo zai dang xia. It was true. I had an urge to stand our with a spontaneous choreographed move when IM4U song was played. However, I pulled myself back so that I did not look dominating.
Another incident was when I was selected to play for street soccer women's team. Jaw dropped. Soccer was something I detest. Nevertheless, I told myself to try my best since there were no other substitute. Ultimately, we scored the goal.
Next would be regarding Jamuan Merdeka Raya. During PM training, Jax was someone I looked up to, someone I felt that it would be fun to be with it. But, maybe I should expect less. He was a way too passive and could be very emotional on certain things which his expression taunted me a lot. Well, the only thing that might be able to kept me with him would only be dancing. However perfect i thought, he did also let me down in dancing.
Lesson #6 : Learned how to be a leader. I also found criterias of a good leader : to be able to use common sense to predict the happenings, foresee the future and make long term planning. Always prepare a back up plan and react fast. A good leader also should be able to lead and not afraid bad comments.
Lesson #7 : Huo zai dang xia.
Lesson #8 : When you are situation, you need to identify clearly what situation it is, what moods it requires, what are the things to be achieved, what are your own objectives. These are the things that I need to ponder own. The best example were during the last few hours before MHS began. Pyton, also someone I looked up to, gave me a great piece of advice. I still remembered he asked for the reason I became a PM and I answered him it was because of UMCARES. He rebuked me and reminded me that right now was MHS and what was MHS all about? Freshmen and not about a PM's personal reason, emotions,etc and also not about an organization havoc, politic, hatred. That how defined the meaning of professionalism.
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THINGS THAT I HAD LEARNED OVERALL FROM THE BEGINNING TILL THE END OF MHS
Lesson #9 : Again, I would like to repeat this - to never ask why a happening falls on you but not others, but to accept with gratitude.
Lesson #10 : Never to question yourself on something you have a lot of fire in it. Never to doubt the initial faith. Never to let yourself to think of impossibilities.
Lesson #11 : To always listen to the people who are talking, do not let yourself to think of something else or distract own self.
Lesson #12 : To never make own assumption that the person already know something that has been popping up in your own mind. Make sure the message you have in mind is transferred to every each of the people without putting any initial expectation.
Lesson #13 : Before making a decision, if time allow, make sure all the opinions from every each of the member are collected.
Lesson #14 : Before a project starts, as a leader, you need to make sure every each of the aspect is satisfied. Example, during mini project, I should have reminded my logistic members to check on the journey distance and also journey duration.
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THE HAPPY MOMENTS DURING PM
Actually there were a lot of great memory that I would like to thank God a lot for giving me this chance to experience it before the others. Firstly, the very crazy and wild time would be gorging Curry Wantan Mee at 5am under rain especially with the presence of Shiew Chin, the finally-joined chatime gang who willing to stay up so late for the first time with us. the surprisingly Jax Wai, Carmen, the always generous one to drive us, Desmond, the one who I love to watch eating, Huck Kian, who we both silly enough to not order Curry Wantan Mee when we were already in the stall but ordered Dry Curry Wantan Mee instead, Yapan, who I looked up to, to keep up the vibe and Maevin, the forever fishing girl.
Another top crazy thing we did was after Jamuan BBQ, we went to karaoke and sang out loud! That moment I guessed were Carmen and I 's best moment, because I finally and literally held the microphone all the the time and sang till my throat dried to the max. I seriously sang a lot, most of the songs were of high notes and up to beat and most importantly, all were my favourite songs. LOL!
The thrill was when eight of us squeezed into the tiny Atos and we wheezed on the quiet road with much effort yet drove LIKE A BOSS under the gleaming moonlight and light post. After karaoke, we chatted for hours until 815 am, and proceeded for our breakfast. Thinking back, I felt sorry for my liver. Hopefully it was worth doing so, because finally we had such chatime to bond us and most importantly, I found some who were like me, who valued relationship to the utmost.
Being a PM was also very fortunate to be able to receive numerous things : PM corporate uniform that made me felt proud whenever I wore it, PM black jacket - a jacket I envied a lot to see Chuck and Choppy wearing it, acting like a boss with the hand inside the pocket - I love it a lot and found it to be very useful for it could keep warm and had hidden pockets in it, get to know Huck Kian - I realised that he was very hilarious with his booming and exaggerating words, get to taste all the delicacies made full of love by our lovely and hardworking DM's chefs - kuih bakar, agar hijau, roti jala with scrumptious curry gravy, karipap, doughnut, popiah, mihun soup - ahhhh...just iressistable.
In addition, I got to know Arif, who could be my jogging mate, Shiew Chin - got to know who she really was : playful, jovial, punctual, kind-hearted, caring to friends, enjoys food, drama and sleep a lot, responsible but emotional, cried easily, a little bit passive, complain queen, lack of patience and not conscientious enough - hopefully I can influence her to be more positive, Johnson - somebody who I could speak without much gap like how it once existed during MKC, Hikmal - the very humourous and caliber person, Mumtaz - a superbly angelic one, Pah - who I enjoyed playing with too.
There were more happy moments like the laughter I shared with Pah and Mimi when I was in their room, eating while teasing each other, matching each other with other male PMs; finally get the chance to dance like SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE ! I really felt the gist of it; visited Beryl's too, although the tour was like bullet train fast, but at least we got to eat free chocolates; watched STEP UP 4 (3D) first time with Chinese PM too!; being one of the top in fitness test!; contributed much and got lots of compliment for being a great goal keeper for woman street soccer; got the chance to experience MHS again but as a PM status; Tun Dr.Mahathir, Lisa Suriandi and Dr.Faiz Khaeed, thanks a lot for coming; the spectacular performance during Malam Integrasi - *great fusion of music from various musical instrument be it from Chinese traditional instrument, Indian, Sikh or the modern instrument.
So far, these were all the memories that still stick with me and I hoped I did not miss out any other.
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