Hi bloggieee :)))
Again, there is a lapse of time since I last updated my exciting and colourful life. Yes, colourful. Perhaps, I should start with the lost of my laptop.
It happened on the very historical date - 10th October 2012 - which I can still recall very vividly. Reason is because that night itself, I had presentation for Citrawarna Za'ba during the open table night. I was shockingly appointed as the Director after a few weeks PM Training and MHS week ended. It was totally out of my expectation. As a matter of fact, I intended strongly that I would not be participating as a member neither a committee member in this dull and mundane so-called mega project. My first year participation did not give me an exhilarating experience unlike joining PTUM. The engagement between the normal members and the seniors were basically weak and the whole organization seemed to be operating stealthily as we were not updated with anything at all. I joined mainly because lots of seniors testified that it was the funnest and most enjoyable event. Moreover, their T-shirts were very creative and attractive in design.
Nevertheless, it was such a paradox that I am now given the opportunity to change though it is not my field of interest at all. The power is in my hand which reminds me that I have once made a wish that I want to be a Director (for any organization). From feeling intrinsic and contradictory to fights and dilemma; from hatred and anger to pressurized and giving up. This breaking news totally erased the colour of my life. This is because for some moment, I see CZ as a total obstruction to all my dreams to achieve in second year: rainwater harvesting project, maintenance and improvement of the food waste bin, spreading more awareness, participating more NGO organized environmental activities and going for an exchange program. Truly, it did blocked my path when I had to give up signing up for an exchange program to Australia on environmental studies for the program clashes with my CZ event besides the reason that they only sponsor RM3000.00. I could not do the same like what happened last batch when most of the director's assistants flew to oversea.
Ever since then, it was my downfall, enveloped by gloom and blues. I kept asking on why I was chosen and given something that I despised. But as time passed, I begin to realize something. As quoted,
"A pessimist see the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees opportunity in every difficulty"
And so,I have stepped into the world of CZ in which in another perspective, I can control it by having any events that I want, just like controlling a string puppet. To truly empower it, I need to immerse myself holistically.
Paradoxically, it causes me a laptop in exchange of the total attention and immersion. I lost my six months old laptop in Arts and Social Sciences Faculty's photostat shop while handling CZ's documents. It will be an unforgettable memory for I remember vividly that I had a odd feeling about the lost - not sad feeling. No at all, but I kind of like requested myself too instead. The moment I lost it, I was not worried because fortunately all the documents that were needed had been all printed out. Besides, there were not many imperative documents for it was only for six months. Not much have been stored. Another point is because I guess I made it in the practice of Buddhist which is to accept whatever happenings and expect them to happen.
After making the police report, I thought I could skip from presentation, but never thought that I was on time instead. Right after I arrived, it was my turn to present. Xue Jian, as expected refused to replace me. Do or die I went to the front and forced myself to be joyful, tried hard to cover my sad, mood-less self. And yeah I did it followed by an hour plus interviewing the juniors, again with a fake broad grin. Fortunately, yes I am very fortunate that I received a new laptop after two weeks. I am really lucky to be born in the family of loving Cheok Bee Eng and Tan Hock Seng.
#story 1
No comments:
Post a Comment